Say hello to Jessica "Don't Call Me Latina" Alba and her newborn daughter, Honor Marie Warren.

Mother and daughter grace the cover and inside pages of the new issue of OK! magazine.

That baby is super cute!

And, we hate to say this, but Jessica looks pretty gorgeous in that pic.

Hopefully she'll smile more now that she has a child!

Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have quietly thumbed their noses at celebs brokering baby photo deals. Probably not a smart move because I'm pretty sure Angelina Jolie could take Nicole in a fight. In fact, in the sake of research, I'm going to imagine such a battle right now. "Pow! BAM! Ziff! Use the battering ram, Nicole!" While I'm performing my journalistic duties, scope out what a friend of Nicole's told the Sydney Morning Herald. "BOFF! Eek! Ease up, Angelina. She's Australian!":

"They don't think it's appropriate to make deals. They are still deciding how they feel about - if and when they will release a photo at all. But they realise there is enormous interest from the public and they are grateful and appreciative of that," the source said.

Damn, if they're just giving them away, I'll get in on that. Give me two 8 x 10s and some wallets. I can't guarantee I won't pretend I'm a single father to pick up chicks at the mall - because I'm going to. So, can you maybe Photoshop Sunday Rose a bit? You know, make her look like the fruit of my loins. Just add a knife between her teeth and eyes that can see into a woman's soul. (Read: Give her those X-Ray glasses with the spirals for lenses.)

Realizing she has the acting skills of a ham sandwich, Jessica Alba has turned her vagina into an ATM by signing a $1.5 million photo deal with OK! Magazine, according to TMZ:

We're hearing the two-part deal consists of pictures of the baby now, and one other "event" -- Christmas, Thanksgiving, vacation, etc. Our spy said Jessica initially turned down the offers of several weekly mags, not wanting to sell, but eventually caved.

Dear struggling actresses, models and reality TV stars, If anyone of you are looking to cash in on the instant publicity and lucrative photo deals that come with birthing a child, I have a penis. Just saying. Sincerely, The Superficial Writer P.S. Please be hot and/or drive a beer truck made entirely of chicken wings.