Hayden Panettiere at the 2008 ESPYs Giant Event in Los Angeles on Tuesday night.

Who is her makeup artist?

They deserve a raise!

That's a canvas painted brilliantly.

[Image via WENN.]

Hayden Panettiere (seen here at last night's ESPY awards) dropped her new music video "Wake Up Call" today, and I'll be the first to admit the song is fucking clown shoes. That said, I definitely saw Hayden's panties in the video, so who do I speak to about getting this thing an Oscar? It's hands down the greatest visual experience I've had since that time I watched BBC's Planet Earth on acid - which was this morning. On a related note, I'm a wombat. Video after the jump.

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CLICK HERE to check out a preview of Hayden Panetierre's debut single.

Yes, she wants to a singer too!

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Before Angelina Jolie's uterus popped this weekend, the big story was Hayden Panettiere getting a haircut. As an unbiased observer, she definitely looks hotter. I wish she'd come over and take a look at my dolphin. Yeah, I've got one in a kiddie pool out back, and I have no idea how to take care of it. Fun Fact: They don't eat Taco Bell. I thought they're supposed to be super smart. Seriously, who turns down a Chalupa? Even Britney Spears loves them, and I've seen her drink from a gas pump.

Hayden Panettiere's boyfriend and Heroes co-star Milo Ventimiglia is picking out engagement rings for my favorite midget hottie. While I figure out the best way to punch him in the gonads, scope out the details from InTouch:

The actor, 31, recently confided to a friend that even though Hayden is only 18 years old, he wants to get engaged, preferably this year. “Milo was looking at rings in late June,” the pal says. “He really likes Cartier and intends to spend around $200,000.”

Okay, sure, Milo can provide Hayden with fancy things like his Hollywood good looks and an expensive engagement. But I've got a face full of handsome as well. Okay, maybe I'm not rich, but I know how to treat a lady. You've got to support their neck and be sure to burp them after eating. Oh yeah, I know my shit. Hayden, let's get romantic.