newVideoPlayer("/salvation.flv", 506, 276,""); ET has been pumping its first look of Terminator: Salvation this Tuesday, an exclusive first-look presided over by none other than the world's most recognizably uni-named pop-spectacle-overseer himself, McG. (Eat his dust, Tarsem.) Today, however, we bring you the promo to the promo. It's as fitting an exclusive as we are likely to find for you on this, Pop Culture Doomsday: A fourth sequel to a picked-over Schwarzenegger franchise about a battle for human survival after a nuclear annihilation. Doesn't get any more apocalypto than that!

But wait one second—what's that huge thing at the end there? The one that looks like it's about to fold into a Ford F-350 Super Duty? It's obviously supposed to be some kind of spectacular CGI set piece, but we're getting a little too much McBay here, and not enough WASP-Brett Ratner. Bring back the T-5000 American Standard Urinalbots—the ones that sang Garbage songs and came with their own deodorant cakes. Those were way cooler. [ET]

More bloodshed from the Doomsday trenches: Nikki Finke has word that "as much as half of the Hollywood Reporter staff" faces downsizing today, with TV writers Barry Garron and Kimberly Nordyke already pink-slipped alongside editors Harley Lond and Randee Cohen. And a tipster just sent a memo confirming that People Magazine has upheld its bicoastal execution orders issued a month ago, concluding 18 buyouts and/or "staff reductions" right on schedule with the pop-culture apocalypse. Nice. The memo follows the jump.

—-—Original Message—-—
From: [redacted]
Sent: Thu 12/4/2008 6:02 PM
Subject: Staff update

To the staff:

I wanted to let you all know that People editorial has completed the staff reductions spelled out in my Nov. 11 memo. I want to thank everyone for their cooperation.

Please join me in wishing our friends and colleagues the best, and celebrating their contributions to the People brand.

###

If that photo isn't straight from the Book of Revelation, we suppose a shot of Dane Cook could be appended to complete the unholy triumvirate. Our apocalypse rations are ready (Franzia, tuna, batteries, The Rock Criterion Collection DVD) and the car is gassed up, so we're just going to strap in and wait for the Last Judgment. The Lord will reserve his harshest punishments for those with full DVRs.

WATCH

The Biggest Chinese Restaurant in the World [9:30 PM, Sundance Channel] - This documentary covers The West Lake Restaurant in Changsha, China, the largest restaurant in the world with 1,000 staff members, 300 chefs and 5,000 seats. Each week, West Lake goes through 700 chickens, 200 snakes, and 5 metric tons of vegetables. Something something something Kirstie Alley.

The Sarah Silverman Program [10:30 PM, Comedy Central] - This week, Defamer enthusiast Sarah tries to come up with new street slang so that she will be remembered. English actor Matt Berry guest stars in tonight's episode. Brian Posehn and Steve Agee continue to be the highlights of this show, as two of the most accurate portrayals of gay men with overactive pituitary glands on television today.

TiVo

Fat Pets [8 PM, Animal Planet] - As cute as fat animals are, it's terrible for their health. This show turns a harsh light on the United Kingdom, the fat pet capital of Europe. In all seriousness, there's no reason to overfeed your pet. The bloody Guinness Book had to stop keeping track of the "Largest Cat" record because they were afraid people would purposefully force-feed their cats.

In the Land of Women [9 PM, HBO] - Adam Brody plays a screenwriter who deals with a break-up by moving in with his sick grandmother. Luckily, a mismatched mother (Meg Ryan) and daughter (blasé Kristen Stewart) live across the street. The first act of the film is worth a watch, if you blinked when it was in theaters last year.

KILL

Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2008 [10 PM, ABC] - Granted, we are still going to watch this online on Friday, but this special continues to dilute the meaning of the word fascinating. Tom Cruise, Will Smith, Rush Limbaugh, that pregnant man, Tina Fey and some other people who have already been interviewed a lot (and with less diffusion filtering).

When Hollywood's best and brightest finally look for signs leading up to today's stripper-consuming, Dark Lord-producing Pop Cultural Doomsday, we have a feeling they'll find a trail of dark psychic energy leading all the way back to the day before Thanksgiving, when NBC aired a televised ritual of evil incantations known as Rosie Live! It was here that the stage was no doubt set for our destruction, and accordingly, comedienne Kathy Griffin adopted a "what the hell" attitude and attempted to mend fences with longtime foil Clay Aiken backstage. Sadly, even the impending end of the world couldn't produce warm feelings from Aiken:

"I held up one of those ghetto blasters playing one of Clay's songs, and I begged him to take me back and he said no," Griffin said at last night's Grammy nomination concert in downtown L.A. "And then I walked out of the room and Gloria Estefan said to me, 'I told ya—you shouldn't have gone in there alone.' "

Griffin said she was, at the very least, hoping for some sort of thank-you or acknowledgment for her role in helping him come out. "There were no words of thanks or even really any words at all, for that matter," Griffin said. "I would have to say he was not very nice."

Cold, Clay — but at least the warmth of eternal hellfire (currently spreading all across the city, but admittedly stuck in traffic near Santa Monica and La Brea) will thaw your frozen heart. Would our Archie have made the same mistake?

• Kathy Griffin on Clay Aiken: "He Was Not Very Nice" [E!]

Inneresting show concept!

Fox has just wrapped up filming a show pilot called Smile, You’re Under Arrest (working title), which the network describes as a 'reverse' Punk'd that targets criminals who have warrants out for their arrest.

“Instead of the worst day of your life and then a joke at the end, this is the reverse. This is the best day of your life, and then we arrest you,” explains Fox's President of Alternative Entertainment, Mike Darnell.

For example, in one scenario a subject is invited to a fake fashion shoot and is made to believe that he's about to become a supermodel but then ends with cops coming in for an arrest.

And in another, a criminal offered an auto racer opportunity ends when a police car comes up behind him on a race track to pull him over.

According to Darnell, all of the subjects are non-violent criminals.

He also adds that set-ups are a common way for officers to nab people out with warrants. However, most stings tend to be much smaller scale, such as tricking them into thinking they won tickets to a major sporting event.

The Fox suit went on to say, “If it were a regular person you’d feel bad for them, but they are all wanted by the law. It’s Cops as comedy and no one’s ever tried it before.”

If the show makes it on air, will you watch?

We'll give it a shot!

[Image via WENN.]

Newly married Spencer Pratt is working on a nice healthy relationship with his mother-in-law.

Responding to Mama Montag's not-so-nice words, in which she says she believes Spencer drugged Heidi to the altar, Pratt responds by saying he can't wait to prove Mrs. Montag's shortlived wedding predictions wrong. He said that he and Heidi are going to be "married for the rest of our lives."

Talking to Ryan Seacrest's radio show, Pratt said, "I'm sure she's just hurt and reacting crazy because she wasn't there."

Because a mother wouldn't want to be present at one of the most important days of her daughter's life - duh!

And Spencer saw his mother-in-law yesterday, Wednesday, to tape a scene for The Hills.

And how was it?

He said it "was pretty much the most insane day of my entire life."

And will the happy couple be spending Christmas with the Montags?

Pratt said, "The Pratts - as in Heidi Pratt and Spencer Pratt - will probably have their own Christmas tree."

You can listen to the rest of the phone call here.

[Image via Apega/WENN.]

Mountain Men: The Sundance Film Festival broke out its non-competition selections for 2009 this afternoon, a starrier, funkier twist on yesterday's slate of barbershop docs and Pierce Brosnan weepies. At the top is Jim Carrey and Ewan McGregor's gay prison romance I Love You Philip Morris, which we've been anticipating since first spying Carrey's frolicsome South Beach sojourn. Richard Gere, Ethan Hawke and Don Cheadle will be around for the cop drama Brooklyn's Finest, while Billy Bob Thornton is bringing two films — the Bret Easton Ellis adaptation The Informers (also with Winona Ryder and Mickey Rourke — stay off the slopes, guys!) and the crap-salesman comedy Manure. Robin Williams, Uma Thurman, Ashton Kutcher, Kevin Spacey, Zooey Deschanel and Kristen Stewart bring up the rear; here's hoping Winona leaves them their gift bags. [SFF]

Leona Lewis' cover of the Snow Patrol song Run has become the UK's fastest-selling digital-only track in the United Kingdom, reports the BBC.

70,000 people downloaded the song in the first two days it was out!

She beat Estelle, who sold 51,857 downloads of American Boy in a week.

Leona beat her in only 2 days!!

The Beeb also mentions that Leona's Bleeding Love is iTunes' most popular downloaded track of 2008.

Leona rules!

[Image via WENN.]

Shenae Grimes's big break came when she was cast in Degrassi III: The Search for Joey Jeremiah, only the most recent incarnation of the long-running Canadian teen drama. She then went on to nab the central role on The CW's much-hoopla'd 90210, rendering the Canadian actress a full-fledged U.S. American celebrity—instantly sending her on a nerve-wracking crash quest to rid herself of telltale Torontoisms like pronouncing sorry "sore-y" and smiling a lot for no reason. Upon returning to her native land to attend this year's Gemini Awards ("Celebrating semi-outstanding achievement in Canadian television since the Mulroney administration™"), however, Grimes was reportedly less than magnanimous to the modest, beaver-rearing stock from which she came:

"Who is even here worth talking to anyway?" she was overheard saying in front of a lineup that included national bigwigs Entertainment Tonight Canada and eTalk.

She somehow managed to cram all of that ego backstage, where she waved off the media room. "I try to f—king avoid all that sh-t," she was heard saying. She must have been all blabbed out from that People magazine feature, where she denied being difficult to work with, partying too much, and having an eating disorder. She certainly put the latter rumour to rest. "She demanded to know where her dinner was," a source says.

One wave of a handler's hand and Grimes's dinner had almost magically appeared—but the nascent diva flipped over the plate of Tim Hortons Timbits smothered in brown gravy as if it were the most disgusting thing she had ever seen. There's no pleasing some girls.

• Shenae Too Big For Canada [celebedge.sympatico.msn.ca]

Sexy Sarah snubbed the Queen O!

Uh-oh!

Oprah tells TV's Extra that she "went and tried to talk to Sarah Palin and instead she talked to Greta [Van Susteren]. She talked to Matt [Lauer]. She talked to Larry [King]. But she didn't talk to me. But maybe she'll talk to me now that she has a [multi-million dollar] book deal."

If we ever incurred the calm wrath of Queen O, we'd flee the country!

No, we'd have to flee the universe! Because Oprah is the Queen of the Universe!

Whatever Oprah wants, Oprah gets. She already has her minions on the hunt for Sarah. They are going to drag her to the set and then Oprah is going to have her way with them.

Stay tuned for that one.

On the other hand, the Obamas have an "open invitation" to her show.

At last night's Alvin Ailey Dance Theater's 50th anniversary celebration, the Queen O told Extra!, "In my wildest, wildest, crazy, crazy dreams, I am a dancer…. When I've like had too many tequila shots and I go to sleep, I dream of being a dancer."

Tequila, eh? We'd always pegged Oprah as a martini lady.

Sounds like she'd already had a few!

Watch out Sexy Sarah!

[Image via WENN.]