Small in Japan: It was bound to happen eventually: We've finally found the one country in the world where The Dark Knight is underperforming. Japanese moviegoers have reportedly bowed out of the global phenomenon, with TDK hovering around the equivalent of $8.7 million in its second week of release. In comparison, observers point to the film's $14 million take during the same frame in Korea, as well as Batman Begins' own $14 million Japanese opening three years ago. Why the plunge? Competition from Hayao Miyazaki's blockbuster Ponyo on the Cliff — currently sitting at $93 million after only a month in theaters — hasn't helped. Nor has its unrelenting heaviness, says one critic: "Japanese movie fans expect such films to be fun and action-packed, for the hero to be attractive, for the villain to be loud and outrageous, and for the movie itself to be easy to understand and light." At least that should brighten post-Hulk spirits at Marvel: Iron Man opens in Japan on Sept. 20. [Film Junk via /film]

So, what does Team Barack think about John McCain's choice of Alaska Governor Sarah Palin to be his Vice Presidential running mate.

Well, Obama's spokesperson, Bill Burton, says:

"Today, John McCain put the former mayor of a town of 9,000 with zero foreign policy experience a heartbeat away from the presidency," Obama spokesman Bill Burton said in a statement.

Burton also criticized Palin as a vice presidential pick for her support of oil drilling in the Alaskan wilderness and her anti-abortion stance, referring to the 1973 Supreme Court decision that made abortion legal in the United States.

"Governor Palin shares John McCain's commitment to overturning Roe v. Wade, the agenda of Big Oil and continuing George Bush's failed economic policies. That's not the change we need, it's just more of the same," he said.

So, that's what they say.

What do U say????

[Image via WENN.]

In a glaring example the Apocalypse is at hand, The Hills is a hot commodity these days. Major fashion designers send thousands of dollars worth of clothing to Lauren Conrad and Audrina Patridge. However, Heidi Montag is left out of this circle of love because, obviously, she has the public persona of a retarded hooker. Fox News reports:

One of Los Angeles’ leading fashion reps (who is often responsible for dressing the likes of Miley Cyrus, Angelina Jolie, Fergie and Carmen Electra) told Pop Tarts that Heidi’s public persona is a little too cheap even for casual (but classy) brands.
"They don’t want their stuff on Heidi, even despite the fact that she is very media-friendly and is photographed a lot," the rep said. "It’s just not the caliber of celebrity most clients go for."

Other celebrities of a higher caliber than Heidi Montag: 1. The guy on the Pringles can. 2. Ross Perot. 3. Remember the dude who's getting a Dell? 4. Jon Stamos. (Marginally.) 5. The Philly Phanatic. 6. Me. (I want free shit! Size: SEXY.)

· 2008's summer box office has exceeded all expectations. Go get drunk! It's on Hollywood! [THR]
· Fox has pushed up the release of Australia two weeks to November 26 to give Baz Luhrmann the time required to finish the film. What say you, Nicole Kidman in a jaunty hat and polka dot kerchief? She approves! [Variety]
· After the Burn After Reading boys packed up and sailed off, this year's smaller-scale Venice Film Festival feels kind of...meh? [Variety]
· A Nielsen study reveals TV audiences are growing older, with the "55-plus age bracket" by far the fastest-expanding demo. You know what that means: A Big Brother: All Old Farts Edition is on its way! [Variety]
· A John Lennon early-life biopic called Nowhere Man, directed by visual artist Sam Taylor-Wood and written by the same screenwriter as Control, is currently casting and in pre-production. [THR]

Sources reveal exclusively to PerezHilton.com that….

Everybody Loves Raymond alum Brad Garrett is going to get a LIVE prostate exam during the September 5th Stand Up To Cancer broadcast.

Now, thisis MUST SEE TV!!

It airs at 8pm ET/PT on NBC, ABC and CBS!

And we thought her hairdo from yesterday was impressive.

She's wearing cornrows!!!!!

Selma Blair shows off her latest ridiculous hair creation and outfit, alongside Molly Shannon, as they film on location for their new sitcom, Kath & Kim.

We know what all the homos are gonna be dressing up as for Halloween!!!

[Image via AMC/Daniel Mayer Photo.]

Shocking news today as John McCain refuted his choice of Heidi Montag as vice president, instead settling on heavily lip-glossed Alaskan governor Sarah Palin. As Jeff Wells notes, Palin has a certain resemblance to Tina Fey as Liz Lemon: the horn-rimmed glasses, the messy up-do, the required fealty to an older, conservative man in charge. But where does each stand on the issues? We combed through their records (and Hulu) to find out — the results, after the jump:

QUALIFICATIONS

Palin: Former mayor of a small Alaska town, she was elected governor of the state in 2006 and has served less than two years in that office.

Lemon: "Who's got two thumbs, speaks limited French, and hasn't cried once today? This moi."

GAY MARRIAGE

Palin: Against gay marriage and supports a federal gay marriage ban.

Lemon: "Just because I think gay dudes should be allowed to adopt kids and we should all have hybrid cars doesn't mean I don't love America."

THE ECONOMY

Palin: Believes that the Republicans can help get the economy and markets back on track, aimed to reduce general fund spending in Alaska by $150 million.

Lemon: "I've got, like, 12 grand in checking."

EXES

Palin: The Alaska legislature is investigating whether she put pressure on a state official to fire her ex-brother-in-law, a state trooper.

Lemon: "Last week was my birthday and everyone forgot except Dennis. He called and we went out and it wasn't weird."
Jenna: "And how was the sex?"
Lemon: "Fast and only on Saturdays—it's perfect!"

In conclusion, Barack Obama must immediately retract his nomination of Joe Biden, thus leaving him free to appoint fictional character Liz Lemon the new vice president of the Unites States of America.

• Specs Thing [Hollywood Elsewhere]

Click here to watch John McCain and his Vice Presidential pick, Sarah Palin, speak at their campaign rally on Friday.

Thoughts?????

No one could pull this off but her!

We told you earlier this week that Oprah Winfrey is trying to get every U.S. athlete that won a gold medal at the Beijing Olympics to appear on her show.

That is quite the undertaking, especially considering that many golds were won by teams - not individuals - and her show tapes in Chicago, not New York or L.A.

Well, she did it!

And, she wants YOU to be a part of it!

Momma O is taping her big O-lympic special next week and she's inviting everyone to come along.

Here is all the info:

"Oprah and the city of Chicago are inviting hundreds of Olympians to Chicago for a special show and YOU are invited.

That’s right! Come visit Oprah and some of the most amazing athletes live in Chicago.

Here are the details:

Place: Millennium Park

Time: The park opens at 6 am. Admission to the lawn will be first come first served basis.

Date: Wednesday, September 3"

We hope Michael Phelps can squeeze it in to his very busy schedule!

[Image via WENN.]

Boomp3.com

Nobody rocks an afterparty like dependable character actor Sam Rockwell rocks an afterparty. Along with his Choke director Clark Gregg, the Galaxy Quest star didn't even wait for the club's DJ to arrive before getting the post-screening dance party started. In between showing off some hot dance moves, Rockwell said, "People don't dance enough these days. It's fun. Oh no, the DJ in my head is just laying down the phattest beats right now." Gregg chimed in with a chant of "Rock Lobster!" as the two sauntered onto an empty dance floor. After a few moments and a few more classic jams from Rockwell's mental DJ, the dance floor remained empty. Rockwell said, "Nobody likes to show up to a party on time. Come back in ten minutes or so and it'll be packed."

[Photo Credit: Getty Images]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.