Despite police proclaiming publicly that Shia LaDouche was "clearly" drunk during his DUI arrest last weekend, the actor's Transformers 2 director insists his star was sober at the time of the car crash.

In a new interview, Michael Bay says:

“You’re gonna see — that’s gonna go away. That’s fresh news… He was not drunk. He was drinking hours and hours before."

Dude, you're not helping his cause by ADMITTING that he was drinking.

Were you with him? Did you see how much he consumed????

Adds Bay, "I spoke to him yesterday in the hospital. His two fingers are pretty mashed, but we’re figuring out a way to shoot around it, kind of write it in the story.”

Despite LaDouche's most recent arrest, his second in less than 12 months, Bay insists that Shia is still a good person. He says, "The kid really has his head together and you know, he’s only 22. He’s doing a great job on this movie. He’s really matured since the last one and I love working with him.”

Of course you're gonna say that. You gotta put a pretty spin on things.

But, it would have been a lot braver and more responsible to condemn LaDouche's drinking and driving.

Michael Bay is a douche too! Duh.

[Image via WENN.]

And like every MLB player…money comes before the game.  (Unless you’re A-Rod..then you want sexy time with Madonna before the game)

Manny Ramirez joined the dark side on Thursday.  No no, he did not join the Yankees…that would be like joining shit. He joined piss instead- Dodgers.  What the f*** was he thinking?  Many a Boston Red Sox Fan is taking off their cap and slamming it on the ground and bursting into tears….

“During my years here I’ve seen how they [the Red Sox] have mistreated other great players when they didn’t want them to try to turn the fans against them,” Ramirez said in an interview with ESPNdeportes.com

“The Red Sox did the same with guys like Nomar Garciaparra and Pedro Martinez, and now they do the same with me. Their goal is to paint me as the bad guy,” Ramirez added. “I love Boston fans, but the Red Sox don’t deserve me. I’m not talking about money. Mental peace has no price and I don’t have peace here.”

Holy hell.  He just dissed the Red Sox. What the eff are we going to do now? Mayhem I tell you, mayhem.  So Jason Bay is going to step into the picture..let’s see what he’s capable of.  And stop bitching Manny, the Red Sox made your ass…(no not the Cleveland Indians).

This makes me mad and all… but what breaks my heart is Big Papi crying.  I love you!!!

The next big thing!

Disney tween sensation Selena Gomez was spotted out and about, looking adorable, in NYC on Thursday.

How cute is she?????

Team Selena!

[Image via WENN.]

Yay for gay marriage!

Best known for her iconic role in Welcome To The Dollhouse, openly gay actress Heather Matarazzo is walking down the aisle with her girlfriend.

The 25-year-old is is engaged to Carolyn Murphy, her partner of over a year.

And, in a really cute move, they proposed to each other!

"It was really cute. First Heather proposed to Carolyn, then Carolyn proposed to her," says Matarazzo's publicist.

The rep adds that the two are very supportive of each other and are totally in love—"it was love at first sight."

And, thankfully, more and more states are recognizing that love is love, no matter if you're gay, straight or whatever you are.

Love is love.

Equality for all!

[Image via WENN.]

Click here to watch Aliana Lohan's debut music video for All The Way Around.

Thoughts?????

Earlier in the week, Amy Winehouse's dad claimed that Wino was hospitalized this Monday because someone drugged her.

Uh huh.

Wino's mom, Janis, is spouting off a nonsensical explanation too. Well, nonsensical for Crackhouse.

Momma Wino says the hospital visit was simply a matter of human error.

"The truth is that Amy ended up in hospital this week because she mixed up the medication she's taking to help her come off drugs," she says. "She took a wrong tablet."

She went on to say that Ames' recent diagnosis with lung disease has encouraged her to steer clear of recreational drugs.

Say what????

"I really don't think she's using now," claims Janis. "Being diagnosed with the early stage of emphysema was a real jolt to her. A bit of a wake-up call."

Why is it so hard for some parents to accept the ugly truth about their kids?

Momma and Poppa Winehouse must both be smoking from Amy's kitty crack pipe!

[Image via WENN.]

newVideoPlayer("/judyquake_def.flv", 506, 423,""); · Did we say we were done with earthquake stories? We lied. Shake it, Judge Judy! (And Judge Penny, whoever you are.) [Access Hollywood]
· Were three dimensions not enough for you to enjoy the dead-eyed zombie children delights of The Polar Express? Well, all aboard! TOOT! TOOT! The Polar Express 4-D Experience is on its way. What does the additional D get you? "Upon your arrival at the North Pole...it actually begins to snow inside the 4-D Special FX Theater and when the conductor sings 'Hot Chocolate' and the dancing waiters begin to pour, the audience can smell the delightful aroma of every cocoa cup!'" [NY Post]
· Despite a hospitalization, Elizabeth Taylor's flack insists she is nowhere near death: "Her hospital visit was precautionary. She will be returning home shortly. At present, she is surrounded by family, friends and fabulous jewels." And Pepperoni & Bacon Pizza Pops—her favorite. [ET Online]
· All hail Siaosi Tupou V, Tonga's new king! [Yahoo/AFP]
· Posters for The Canadian Filmmakers Festival feature some fine Canuckistanian send-ups of classic film images. [Super Punch]

Hip hop divas unite.

According to a new report, Jay-Z is set to work with Kanye West AND Timbaland on sessions for his new album.

Yeah, he's not retiring any time soon!

Early reports said that Jay's new stuff was going to be produced solely by Timbaland, but the hip-hop star has revealed that the sessions are more of a "musical competition" between his peers.

Hova says, "I'm a person that works off music. If Timbaland makes 10 great tracks then he produces the album, if Kanye West makes 10 great tracks then he produces the album; if he makes three, I'll take three. I let the music dictate the direction. You know I love Timbaland, he is like a brother to me, but until the music is done it's premature."

We can't wait to see what will come of all this.

They're all such big personalities. We wish we could be a fly on the wall of Jay-Z's studio!

Hip hop divas unite.

According to a new report, Jay-Z is set to work with Kanye West AND Timbaland on sessions for his new album.

Yeah, he's not retiring any time soon!

Early reports said that Jay's new stuff was going to be produced solely by Timbaland, but the hip-hop star has revealed that the sessions are more of a "musical competition" between his peers.

Hova says, "I'm a person that works off music. If Timbaland makes 10 great tracks then he produces the album, if Kanye West makes 10 great tracks then he produces the album; if he makes three, I'll take three. I let the music dictate the direction. You know I love Timbaland, he is like a brother to me, but until the music is done it's premature."

We can't wait to see what will come of all this.

They're all such big personalities. We wish we could be a fly on the wall of Jay-Z's studio!

newVideoPlayer("/bratton_def.flv", 506, 423,""); Good news for the beleaguered Hollywood paparazzi: LAPD Chief William Bratton opposes a new proposal to place restrictions on particularly aggressive photographers. In fact, he took time out of his daily workout to tell KNBC that the problem lies not with the paparazzi but with the bad girls they photograph — a salient point made amusing by Bratton's brusque verbiage and up-to-the-minute starlet savvy (preserved on video after the jump):

"If you notice, since Britney started wearing clothes and behaving; Paris is out of town not bothering anybody, thank god; and, evidently, Lindsay Lohan has gone gay, we don't seem to have much of an issue."

Someone's been refreshing Perez! While Bratton deserves credit for advancing the idea that a starlet "going gay" could actually help curb the paparazzi explosion, we think Lindsay Lohan is a mere drop in the bucket. No, if the lesbian army on Passions has taught us anything, it's that these sapphic starlets will need to expand their ranks to the dozens or more if they even have a hope of taking on the paparazzi head-to-head. Do we smell a rumble at the Home Depot parking lot on Sunset?

• LAPD Chief Blames 'Bad Girls' For Paparazzi Drama [KNBC.COM]